Opposite Movie Review: The Godfather

So, this is a based on a book by some guy that I never read. It's about a mafia family who do things like kill people and run rackets and stuff. There's a dad and his kids and what not. Long story short, this movie is terrible. It is three hours of garbage. I mean it starts with a wedding. Where's the fucking action? I think there's only one explosion in the entire film, and one crazy shoot out where the good guy doesn't even have a gun. Instead, this film relies on strong characters and plot to carry you through, but I wanted more explosions. Ooo, you build suspense. Big deal! There were not enough explosions and gunshots. Where's Michael Bay when you need him?