Always Second

As I look back at my life, I always felt like I came second. I felt like I didn't put myself first ever (which isn't true), but, with others, it definitely felt that way. With women, I always felt like a second option. A guy to keep on the hook just in case the first option didn't work out. Even with my parents, other things always came first. I remember my dad saying that they were going to do this thing where they just listened to me for two weeks. It didn't happen, and my parents have never paid attention to the things that I say. When something went wrong, it was often blamed on me though it almost never was my fault. My parents projected their anger onto me often because, apparently, your child is a safe outlet (forget the negative consequences of it for that child). It isn't a surprise that I never felt good enough. I was never called smart by them, and my dad told me I did a good job after a day where he made a lot of money. I knew where my worth lied, and it wasn't in my brains. It was alway in work of some form for them.

I think this fostered in me a feeling of self loathing and disrespect for myself which manifested itself in this feeling of always being second. I also became a martyr. When something went wrong, I thought it was my fault. I apologized all the time even though a problem would have nothing to do with me. It shouldn't be a surprise that I became depressed and downtrodden. I couldn't do anything right. No one loved me, and I had no worth. It's taken a long time to realize this is incorrect, but these feelings come back often. It didn't help that I would surround myself with people similar to my father (blameless, lying, and accusatory). I was trying to fix them, and, in doing so, I was hoping I could fix him. It turns out that sort of thing just made me feel worse. So, I began to expunge those relationships from my life even though some were close, and I started anew. It feels great, but I still become sad often, but the period doesn't last long enough to be considered a depression which is good. This is the end of my first expressive writing post. More will likely follow. The take away point is that I'm not second. If you feel the same way, neither are you. I was second because I didn't believe in myself, and I overcame that by proving the doubters wrong.

Who watches the Watchmen?

Watchmen is set in an alternate history where Nixon is still president in 1985, and the US is still embroiled in the Cold War. Masked heroes also exist with one being a genuine superhero, but, after the Keene Act was passed in 1977, only a few remained active. When one of their own suddenly ends up murdered, they are forced back into their costumes to solve a mystery which grows into a larger mystery.

Alan Moore has written some classic comics, but this one may be his best. The characters are wonderful with fun, smart plot twists. It is a joy to read, but the movie doesn't do the comic justice. As further justification of its greatness, it made Time's list of 100 best novels from 1922-2005. You may not think that comics are cool, but you're missing out on great literature if you don't read them.

Opposite Movie Review: The Godfather

So, this is a based on a book by some guy that I never read. It's about a mafia family who do things like kill people and run rackets and stuff. There's a dad and his kids and what not. Long story short, this movie is terrible. It is three hours of garbage. I mean it starts with a wedding. Where's the fucking action? I think there's only one explosion in the entire film, and one crazy shoot out where the good guy doesn't even have a gun. Instead, this film relies on strong characters and plot to carry you through, but I wanted more explosions. Ooo, you build suspense. Big deal! There were not enough explosions and gunshots. Where's Michael Bay when you need him?

The Zodiac Killer: Is the mystery over?

Could it be true? Has the final Zodiac code naming the killer been cracked. That's what Corey Starliper says. What name is it? Well, you can find out here.

Personally, I want the mystery to be over cause this thing creeps me out big time. These murders happened 15 years before I was born, and they still bother me to no end. The attack at Lake Berryessa may be one of the most terrifying encounters in history. A man dresses in a black hooded diguise and ties up his victims, only to stab them repeatedly. Somehow, the man survived the attack, but his fiance didn't. The killer flees and writes letters to local newspapers about his deeds. Just terrifying.

Still, if you're like me and wish to face that fear. Here are a couple of books about the Zodiac Killer by Robert Graysmith.

Zombie Reports Feeling Misunderstood Yet Superior Due To White Skin

I sat down with a zombie named Robert who had been dead for almost four years. After a zombie outbreak, Robert tried to flee his hometown, but he was overtaken by zombies who turned him into one of their own. Robert has largely been able to maintain his intelligence throughout the experience, but his speech center of the brain was damaged. However, Robert is able to write answers to questions on a piece of paper, and this method allowed me to conduct an interview. This was the interview that followed.

KM: Robert, you've written that zombies are misunderstood. How?

RZ: People think that we violent killing machines who crave brain, but people attack first. Just start shooting. We defend ourselves. No one give us food or allow us near healthy stuff. Yes, we eat brains and flesh. Brains are yummy. We like brains.

KM: Interesting. Doesn't turning more people into zombies exacerbate this problem? You now have more competition.

RZ: I guess. It like having kids. Some zombie want them and other don't. Turning someone like have kid except they independent.

KM: That seems a bit reckless.

RZ: We reckless? How minorities? No different from them.

KM: Their children don't turn people into the living dead.

RZ: Some zombie was minority. As skin become pale, they become better people. They raise better kids.

KM: Are you saying that zombies are better parents as zombies? How is that possible?

RZ: No, saying that they better parents because they white now.

KM: Wait, wait, zombies are better because they're white?

RZ: Look at my skin. No get any whiter, and never been better person except eating brain.

KM: That sounds incredibly racist. I just hope that's clear.

RZ: We may eat brains, but we're better than darkies. That fact.

At this point, Robert lunged at me. I was able to dodge and escape from the building, but a group had followed us there. Authorities soon arrived, and Robert died from a gunshot wound to the head, moments later. I guess the zombie white supremicist has a long way to go.

A whole lot of wacky weather

The last three seasons have been some of the worst we've seen in the United States in a long time. Over the winter, blizzards halted travel and inconvenienced millions. This spring has seen multiple tornadoes ravage the south and east with deadly results. Then, there's the wildfires which are destroying thousands of acres and droughts. Floods have also affected huge areas. Minot, North Dakota has been the latest victim of nature as the Souris River is bound to set a record crest today or tomorrow.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/8121943/minot_north_dakota_evacuates_as_souris.html?cat=9

The time has come to ask why. What is the cause of this damaging and deadly weather events? There are two likely culprits. The first and most likely is La Nina, and it is kicking our ass. But, there is something exacerbated the effects of La Nina. It's our old nemesis known as global warming. People don't want to believe it exists, but something is happening. Yet, I think it's only going to get worse until we're seriously willing to address it.

Michio Kaku to Appear at the University of Minnesota on April 7th

For science fiction fans in the Twin Cities area, I have some good news. Michio Kaku, author of Physics of the Impossible, will be discussing his new book Physics of the Future. This book discusses where technology is moving in the future, specifically in the year 2100.



Dr. Kaku, a theoretical physicist, will appear at Coffman Memorial Union on April 7th at 7PM. If you are unfamiliar with Dr. Kaku, he has spoken on many programs ranging from news programs, History Channel's The Universe, his own show on the Science Channel named Physics of the Impossible, and he even recently appeared on Conan. However, I find that it's hard to forget this white haired ebullient scientist who often discusses the theory of everything. This concept tries to unify the four fundamental forces of the universe, the weak nuclear force, the strong nuclear force, gravity, and electromagnetism. This event is a must for any physics fans.