Man claims his invisible friend, Steve, saved his life

The story seemed incredible. A man from west central Minnesota claims his friend Steve saved his life, not once, but four times. Steve sounds like a pretty amazing guy, but what makes him even more amazing is that no one but Clark Higgins has seen the man. You can ask any friend of Clark, but none have never actually met this miraculous man.

When Clark was questioned further, he explained that people just don't believe in Steve, but, if they were to except him into their hearts, Steven can help them as well. Someone suggested that he had meant Jesus or God, but Clark remains steadfast. He even had some not so elegant words about Jesus saying "Forget Jesus, he ain't worth a spit". That line was cleaned up as it was originally filled with expletives. Clark shows no signs of delusions or symptoms of mental illness unless the idea of Steve can be included.

When I asked Clark to tell me more about Steve, he said that he was all-powerful, all-knowing, and had extremely large gentalia. At this point, I inquired whether there was a sexual relationship with Steve, and Clark just smiled and say "Nah, man, Steve don't swing that way, but he doesn't judge either". Steve loves everyone, but they just don't know it yet. They better hurry though cause Clark says that he'll sentence anyone to eternal damnation if they don't love him back. It seems unfair. Barely anyone has heard about Steve and his magical gift. But, based on Pascal's Wager, I thought it might be a good idea to believe anyway.

Then, I asked Clark about his life saving experiences, and they were interesting. The first was a near accident where he swerved just in time to avoid crashing into the ditch. The second time he was pulled out of a pool by a lifeguard after he'd passed out from drinking too much. The third and forth times also included alcohol and, apparently, Steve told him not to drive drunk. Clark admits that he has cut down on his drinking, and that he couldn't have done it without Steve. Personally, this writer thinks that Clark is a little off his rocker, but I can't risk eternal damnation. I love you Steve!