Always Second: A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy (A Personal Blog Post)

For a long time, I thought of myself as always being second. That statement doesn't make much sense, but it meant that no one ever put me first. I felt like my parents never did, and I always felt like I was second best when it came to women. Then, it dawned on me that I just thought of myself as second, and it became a self-fulfilling prophesy. I was second because I made myself second. I made excuses about why I couldn't do things, and it's time for that to stop. But, for that to happen, I have to acknowledge some things.

Being fat is holding me back because I let it. I used to weigh 345lbs. It's a ridiculous weight, and, now, I'm down to 325. I have to keep going, and I have to lose more weight. I feel better, and my confidence is substantially improved. It may not be a hang up for others, but it certainly is for me.

Secondly, I have to take risks. Women are going to reject me, but nothingis going to happen if I don't take that chance. While I can look back and opine about sour grapes, it's just not true. I have to rectify that. My thinking is so faulty that I think most people don't like me, but I'm not an asshole. I don't try to hurt people's feelings. It's time to accept that I'm not a bad person. I can certainly be better, but that takes work. Now, it's time for me to get to work.

Amazon Books


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What happened to personal responsibility?

Is anything anyone's fault anymore? Is anyone responsible, or does everyone just pass the buck to someone else? Everyone wants something for nothing these days. But, who is supposed to pay for it? Someone else is the answer. People don't want to pay taxes, but they seem happy to benefit from public programs when they need it. Everyone else is fucking over the system and doesn't deserve those benefits. We're drowning in debt, but we don't vote out politicians who spend and spend and/or refuse to raise taxes. The rich can pay for needed programs, but that responsibility shouldn't shared with the middle class at all. At some point, this just isn't fair. The middle class may not have a lot of extra income, but it's also not fair for a subset of the population to pay a huge portion of the tax revenue. When 50% of people don't pay income tax, it suggests a major problem with our tax system. And, when our corporate tax rate is pushing 40%, but companies pay, on average, 24%, there is a problem.

So, why don't we fix it? What's stopping us from being personally responsible? I'm not entirely sure, but our politicians don't help. The media doesn't help, and the idea that things shouldn't be criticized doesn't help. Imagine if nothing was criticized. Medicine probably wouldn't work. Actually, nothing would. As each side points to the other as the problem, it distracts us as a whole, and we keep voting for the other party. This does nothing. If we want personal responsibility, we have to start with ourselves, and, then, elect personally responsible politicians. Well, there are two more options, but I'll get into those later.

Kindle Select Experiment

So, I've had a few stories posted on Kindle for purchase for over two years. In that time, I hadn't sold much, and I was wondering if there were a way to offer my stories for free or have a sale or something to boost sales and exposure. Then, a new program came along called Kindle Direct Publishing Select. With this program, stories or novels can offered free of charge for five days every 90 day period. Likewise, if someone borrows your story, you can get a piece of the pot they offer monthly. Since I was struggling with sales, I decided that this would be a great idea, so I moved them into the program. The only issue was that I had to not offer them anywhere else for sale or reading which wasn't really an issue. Then, this last weekend, I had my first free promotion which went pretty well.

I had a lot of downloads of my stories which was a pleasant surprise. It also appears that I had some sales from the experience. It's early, so it's difficult to tell if this will result in sustained sales. Personally, I doubt it, but, honestly, my stories are short, need more editing, and look kind of crappy (coverwise). Still, I'm definitely satisfied with the program.

While my experience is probably not common, I would advise a thing or two. First, my downloads dropped off significantly on the second day of my promotion, so, if I do this again, I won't offer my stories for free two days in a row. Secondly, from what I've seen, sales improve after offering stories for free. If your sales are struggling, try putting that story into KDP Select and see how it goes. At this point, people aren't really reporting a downside. If your work is selling well, I've seen others who aren't using this program, and I can't blame them. Why jeopardize that? I can't think of a good reason. Good luck to any authors out there and think about this option if you want exposure.

William Melvin Hicks: 50 years old today had he lived

William Melvin Hicks aka Bill Hicks was a fantastic comedy even though many didn't find him funny. In fact, many found him to be offensive, but he never wanted to offend his audience. He wanted them to think, to question, and to challenge what we'd been told. He was a free spirit who wanted us to love each other and stop being afraid, a message that still isn't getting through to people today. I miss the man, and he died when I was 9. We miss you, Bill.

Here is an article with links to Bill's full stand up sets. Enjoy!

Biggest Loser Winner: An oxymoron for America

Losing 220 pounds is an amazing accomplishment. It really is. However, when you factor in that this weight was lost over the course of only a year,it becomes scary. John Rhode lost weight at a rate of four pounds a week. That's twice the recommended weight loss per week. It comes to an energy balance of -14,000 calories a week or -2000 calories a day. That's the daily recommended intake for an adult woman. I know many people watch the show and feel inspired, but this is a terrible example for people who want to lose weight. So much of the contestant's lives are controlled. While they cook their own meals, their resources are limited. There's no white flour or sugar or any other high fat stuff.

John Rhode did an amazing thing, but much of that weight was lost with the help of personal trainers and a huge monetary prize. My point is the show shouldn't inspire anyone to that level of weight loss, but I'm sure that people do after watching the show. It doesn't encourage a healthy level of weight loss, and, if anything, it encourages people who are morbidly obese to try out for the show instead of changing their ways, maybe even gain weight. It also presents weight loss as something that's easy, but losing four pounds a week is nearly impossible in the real world. Even losing two pounds a week is incredibly challenging, and few, if any, behavioral studies have found a way to do this. John Rhode's accomplishment is indeed impressive, but it's not a lifestyle that people who want to lose weight should inspire to emulate.

More importantly, being the Biggest Loser Winner means that many people on that show didn't win. They lost a lot of weight, and, hopefully, changed their life for the better. However, that weight loss is going to be associated with actual losing. Sure, this may seem like a stupid remark, but imagine working harder than you've ever worked in your life only to fail. Did you want to keep on or just give up? A lot of people just give up.

Also, this may have changed, but there's a psychological aspect to food for these contestants meaning there's a reason these contestants gained so much weight. Eating bad food and not exercising really only gets people to a certain weight. To get to 400 pounds, eating has to be medicinal. It has to be accounting for something be it depression, anxiety, or some other issue, but, until this is treated, the contestants are going to gain back a lot of weight. So, John Rhode is the Biggest Loser Winner, and he's made an amazing change in his life. It is impressive, but it's also unrealistic and probably for someone outside of a controlled setting like the Biggest Loser, dangerous.

UC Davis Pepper Spray Incident: Way Too Far

At an occupy protest at UC Davis, non-violent demonstrators were pepper strayed by police. There was no reason for this to occur, and, apparently, many agree. A picture of the event was put on the internet, and it went viral. It may not have been a big deal except that this is hardly the first over reaction by police.

A retired police captain is arrested at an occupy protest.

http://i.imgur.com/K1sTv.jpg

A Marine's skull is fractured by a tear gas cannister in the Oakland Occupy Protest.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/10/26/article-2053502-0E89468100000578-420_964x493.jpg

Police repeatedly try to remove protestors by force.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-15779008


http://www.reddit.com/r/occupywallstreet/

It's a disturbing trend when peaceful assembly is disrupted considering that it's a right listed in the 1st amendment. Police are supposed to be on the side of the people, yet they have repeatedly taken action against them. It's a scary thought, and it doesn't get the attention that it deserves. The tea party is heralded as a great movement that almost everyone, at one time, said they could get behind. What's the difference with the occupy movement? Why is this so hard to support? This seems to have a reasonable explanation though. The money doesn't support it. Those with advertising dollars don't like it, so shows are less willing to air it. Tea Partiers get all kinds of love, but those in the Occupy Movement are left out in the cold. Well, that's enough. Tell others about it, about police brutality against non-violent protesters. I can't care who are, but that simply isn't right, ever.

Rick Perry names facts and knowledge as his greatest foes

At an emotional public announcement, Rick Perry announced that he would no longer participate in all of the presidential debates after his ranking in polls took a dive due to his poor performances in previous debates. Perry didn't blame his lack of intelligence or poor preparation for these performances. Instead, Perry revealed his true foes. Those on hand were somewhat surprised to learn that facts and knowlege were Rick Perry's greatest foes in his aspiration to be president.

His problems with facts and knowledge go back to his days in college when Perry explained that he desired to be a veteranian, but knowledge didn't cooperate and refused to help him with this goal. Then, he tried to learn facts, but they didn't agree with his opinions. So, naturally, he ignored them and came to his own conjectured conclusions. Evolution was clearly wrong, but this didn't help with his biology classes. Economics refused to impart any knowledge to him no matter how much he prayed. Admittedly, he found studying to be a ridiculous endeavor saying "that kind of behavior is just as bad as worshipping the devil like atheists do".

As he entered the political arena, he was originally a Democrat until he didn't want to be anymore, so he became Republican where his anti-fact and anti-knowledge stances began to show promise. His willful ignorance seemed to have no limit as he became Lieutenant Governor and, then, Governor of Texas. Even as the recession hit, the number of jobs in Texas grew when other states lost them even though the jobs were at lower wages and the job growth didn't keep up with population growth. It was starting to become clear to Rick Perry that facts and knowledge were wrong. They were things of the past until the presidential debates where facts and knowledge reared their ugly heads.

In his latest press conference, Rick Perry admitted that facts were going to defeat him simply because he refused to acknowledge them. It appears that Rick Perry's only hope is that voters have the same distain for facts and knowledge that he exhibits. That just may be a fact.