Always Second: A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy (A Personal Blog Post)

For a long time, I thought of myself as always being second. That statement doesn't make much sense, but it meant that no one ever put me first. I felt like my parents never did, and I always felt like I was second best when it came to women. Then, it dawned on me that I just thought of myself as second, and it became a self-fulfilling prophesy. I was second because I made myself second. I made excuses about why I couldn't do things, and it's time for that to stop. But, for that to happen, I have to acknowledge some things.

Being fat is holding me back because I let it. I used to weigh 345lbs. It's a ridiculous weight, and, now, I'm down to 325. I have to keep going, and I have to lose more weight. I feel better, and my confidence is substantially improved. It may not be a hang up for others, but it certainly is for me.

Secondly, I have to take risks. Women are going to reject me, but nothingis going to happen if I don't take that chance. While I can look back and opine about sour grapes, it's just not true. I have to rectify that. My thinking is so faulty that I think most people don't like me, but I'm not an asshole. I don't try to hurt people's feelings. It's time to accept that I'm not a bad person. I can certainly be better, but that takes work. Now, it's time for me to get to work.

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