Rick Perry names facts and knowledge as his greatest foes

At an emotional public announcement, Rick Perry announced that he would no longer participate in all of the presidential debates after his ranking in polls took a dive due to his poor performances in previous debates. Perry didn't blame his lack of intelligence or poor preparation for these performances. Instead, Perry revealed his true foes. Those on hand were somewhat surprised to learn that facts and knowlege were Rick Perry's greatest foes in his aspiration to be president.

His problems with facts and knowledge go back to his days in college when Perry explained that he desired to be a veteranian, but knowledge didn't cooperate and refused to help him with this goal. Then, he tried to learn facts, but they didn't agree with his opinions. So, naturally, he ignored them and came to his own conjectured conclusions. Evolution was clearly wrong, but this didn't help with his biology classes. Economics refused to impart any knowledge to him no matter how much he prayed. Admittedly, he found studying to be a ridiculous endeavor saying "that kind of behavior is just as bad as worshipping the devil like atheists do".

As he entered the political arena, he was originally a Democrat until he didn't want to be anymore, so he became Republican where his anti-fact and anti-knowledge stances began to show promise. His willful ignorance seemed to have no limit as he became Lieutenant Governor and, then, Governor of Texas. Even as the recession hit, the number of jobs in Texas grew when other states lost them even though the jobs were at lower wages and the job growth didn't keep up with population growth. It was starting to become clear to Rick Perry that facts and knowledge were wrong. They were things of the past until the presidential debates where facts and knowledge reared their ugly heads.

In his latest press conference, Rick Perry admitted that facts were going to defeat him simply because he refused to acknowledge them. It appears that Rick Perry's only hope is that voters have the same distain for facts and knowledge that he exhibits. That just may be a fact.